I Interrupt My Vacation For A Word About Sarah Palin

Cynthia Ruccia



I am in sunny southern Italy for a family wedding. I've been really enjoying the food, the gorgeous weather, swimming in the Adriatic, being with my husband's wonderful family who all live here and whom we see too little of, and just getting away from it all. Sort of. Even here, you can't really unplug yourself. One would have to go to the moon for that these days. Or beyond.

So I was catching up on the news from home when this odious piece landed in my inbox, and until I comment I won't be able to eat another lucious scamorza fresca, a fioroni fig, or anything else until I get this off my chest. My niece's wedding is in about 8 hours, and even on this special day, I'm thinking about the state of women and sexism back in the United States.

Joan Walsh needs to resign her position at Salon-----or they need to fire her. Seriously. I'm a little late to the party about her (my friend K is constantly surprised that I give this woman any credibility), but I thought that at least for a woman to have ascended to the helm of one of the most successful internet magazines, she must have SOMETHING going for her. Lately, she has become SHRILL-------------hahahahahahahaha. Sorry, I just couldn't help myself. I know it is horrible to call a member of the sisterhood shrill. But it is meant as a deep insult. Sorry again.

It drives me out of my mind that neither the right nor the left can cut Sarah Palin any slack. The left has concocted this ridiculous meme about her (and anyone white I might add). Palin has become a totem of everything that the left has hatred about. That subject is a moving target, and if you read the piece referenced above, you will see the faux outrage of the moment. You know the drill------anyone who disagrees with Obama or the lefties is a racist, all of the people who don't hold their views are subhuman, blah blah blah. And Walsh has become an agile spokesperson for this particular craziness that has infected the Democrats and the left. You can practically hear her foaming at the mouth and projecting spittle everywhere she goes. For someone who thinks she is an intellectual, she's really just a petty bigot. But she dog whistles the left on this racism thing, a thing that in itself has become racist. You know----if your skin is white and you aren't agreeing with her on everything, you must be a racist. Or stupid. Or dangerous. Or anti-American. We have the age of Obama to thank for this crap. And really, if you hold those points of view, it is YOU who are racist and anti-American. And dangerous. People are entitled to their opinions in this country----everyone. If you choose to quash any POV but your own, you are being un American imho. Etc.

So the "not one of us" meme carried to its extreme drives me nuts. But pile a heaping dollop of sexism on top of it will make me interrupt my vacay because I can't enjoy a darn thing here, and this tirade requires my command of English, not my middling Italian.

I see sexism at every turn in the insanity that Palin seems to inspire. First off, let's begin with Walsh and her ridiculously scornful comment that Palin is using her "trademark sex appeal" to have a platform. I smell jealousy of the visceral sort. It's an old story that for some women who are insecure about themselves that if someone does better than they do and they are pretty, that she must have gotten there because she was prettier. That is a low blow coming from someone who is supposed to be smart. That's as crude as if someone said that man X is better than man Y because he has a bigger dick. Although that may be true in certain instances (both the male and female examples) it is beneath Walsh to even go there. But of course her audience is insane, completely off their rocker when it comes to Palin. If anyone had said that about one of their own, they'd be apoplectic and on the war path. But somehow it is ok to drop that on someone they don't like. Hypocrites of the highest order. And Walsh shows that she couldn't care less about women getting ahead. If she did, she wouldn't be using that kind of example which only perpetuates sexist memes. And that meme is one of the worst.

Another reason I am nuts, is that the lefties have fed themselves a false narrative about Palin-------completely false. They like perpetuating the idea that she is stupid, unaccomplished, etc. All of them sexist stories that entrap women and prevent them from breaking glass ceilings in any significant numbers. You may not agree with some of her positions, fine. Argue those. But to say that Palin believes in stuff that her record indicates she doesn't and then to go after her for it, well, how would they like to be treated that way. NOT!! Palin actually has a considerable record of accomplishment standing up to the establishment of her own party and winning, an astounding feat if there ever was one. Try accomplishing THAT Joan Walsh!! And Palin had a very good record in many areas as governor. She appointed Supreme Court justices who were prochoice because they were good candidates, and really I could write a dissertation on this subject, but I'll stop here.

But equally troubling is the deafening silence from the right. Where is the outrage at the sexism against one of their own? What I am seeing is that the right is also scared of her potent appeal and they want to quash it. And it seems that the best way to do it is to let the left do the dirty work. As usual I come around to my unfortunate fallback conclusion and that is that BOTH parties are incredibly sexist and that neither party wants a woman at the top. And the end result is that if women want power, they will have to grab it like anyone else. And Palin is an interesting example of how to grab it. Wherever Palin ends up, she won't let the sexists cow her. If anything, it brings out the best in her, and we can all learn from her boldness. Kudos to her for that.

Finally, my friend J brought to my attention that somehow it was ok, according to Walsh, that Jeb Bush made that "fertility" comment, but trashed Palin for going after him? So he gets a free pass and not her? What is the reasoning there? I guess it must be because Palin is a woman and thus it is ok to trash her and not the actual perpetrator of the comment, a comment that on its face was ridiculous and sexist.

So there is sexism everywhere you turn. Left, right, everywhere. I am a proud Independent. I call it as I see it. And although my position might be a bit radical and unattainable, it would serve everyone, male, female, left, or right, to try to be more attentive to their sexism. It is corrosive.

Hopefully I have vented enough to get back to the pleasures of my vacation which is coming to an end. Screw the Palin haters. Bring on the pasta!!!!

Special Place in Hell.....

Cynthia Ruccia

      

There's a quote by former Secretary of State Madeleine Albright that goes:




I'd like to take that one step further------that there's a special place in hell for women who advance at the expense of other women. And that's putting it politely.

At any rate, that quote and its derivative have taken up residence in my brain after watching Susan Rice and Samantha Power each take one more step up their professional ladder today. On the surface I should be happy. After all, the president took the opportunity to add another woman to his team instead of a man (that being Power----Rice was already on board).

But I'm getting no pleasure at watching these two women, both of whom got where they are on the back of Hillary Clinton. It is shocking to me how furious I still am with how Hillary lost. Reminders of it never seem to go away. Sometimes we can go through quite a long spell without anything happening to cause flashbacks. But then they can come fast and furious. And this past 24 hours have provided their share of reminding me of the ordeal of the 2008 presidential election when my old party, the Democrats, lost their moral compass and took leave of their senses.

My first set of flashbacks came yesterday watching the Tea Party people testify to the House committee about how they were harassed by the IRS. The implication from their testimony was that this harassment was done to silence their voices. It seems clear that the command came from further up the food chain than here in Ohio, Cincinnati to be specific. At the very least the tone that was set starting from the president on down created an atmosphere in which folks thought that this kind of behavior was ok. That flashed me back to 2008 when I and many others stood up against the blatant sexism coming out of the Democratic Party to stop Hillary Clinton. What did we get for standing up for a different point of view from the Obama minions? In my case death threats, threats against my family members, accusations of being racists, reams of hate mail and hate email, just lots of vile stuff. I shouldn't be surprised that this behavior would continue once Obama won. But with the current revelations it is amazing how little free speech is tolerated by this administration. If you think differently from them you are un-American and worse. So when I saw the lady from Alabama speak yesterday, Becky Gerritson, my eyes filled with tears remembering my own ordeal.

Today, I am reminded about these two women, Rice and Power, who stabbed Hillary in the back to get ahead. I understand that it is dog eat dog in this world, especially in politics. But what can you say about someone like Susan Rice who got her first real break from President Bill Clinton when he appointed her to his national security team and also later as an undersecretary of state? You would expect some form of loyalty from her as that's how the game is played, chits and all. Instead, Susan Rice was the first one to abandon the Clintons to whom she owed her career to get behind Barack Obama. It was a stunning stab in the back to Hillary. It was an even more stunning statement about how the historic candidacy of Hillary Clinton for President meant nothing to this ambitious woman who was willing to step over her to get what she wanted. Special place in hell to her.......

And then there is the case of Ms. Power. Another ambitious woman. Now I maintain that ambitious women need to stick together and help each other get ahead. We have not achieved any level of parity at the top of things. The dismal numbers speak for themselves. Check out the stats in the column on the right. Anyways, here we had in 2008 the opportunity to elect the first woman president of the United States, a feat that had it been successful would have positively impacted women everywhere giving women a great leap forward including Ms. Power. So what did she do? She joined up with the Obama forces and let herself be used as an attack dog against Hillary calling her a monster. Really??? Power let herself be the public face of a female attacking Hillary Clinton. Sure she was put under the bus after awhile for doing it. But now she gets her reward for her service to Obama. She may be brilliant----she may be the best thing since sliced bread. But she is another one who deserves a special place in hell for not only blocking another woman, but goring her to get ahead.

Let's hope that the post traumatic stress from 2008 will be stilled at some point. Unfortunately the events of the past 24 hours have made the wounds seem fresh again.

A Few Comments On Michele Bachmann

Cynthia Ruccia



I want to get this out of the way upfront. Many people like to ridicule me whenever I say anything nice about Michele Bachmann. Bring it on!!!! As people make fun of me for my positive comments about the now-departing Congresswoman, they really prove the points I'm about to make.

My main premise today is that the historic vitriol against Michele Bachmann is a combination of dislike of her positions, mockery of her sometimes nutty views, attempts to marginalize an opponent, but most of all illustrating the HUGE dollop of sexism rolled into the brew.

As you all know by now, Bachmann is retiring from the House after this term. I'm actually sad to see her go. I agreed with little that she espoused and found some of her comments nutty (but really-----ALL politicians make nutty comments). But I truly admired her spirit and parts of her style. In a world that treats women pretty badly, and treated her worse than most, she stood up to it with glee and courage and stood by her convictions. I would venture to say that most women would have easily wilted after the first few volleys of what Bachmann was put through, but not Michele. All of us can learn a thing or two from her about what true courage is----especially women.

I was totally outraged to see this piece about her by John Avlon at the Daily Beast, a new low for the left-leaning internet rag and a real new low for him. His basic assumption is that Michele Bachmann was the worst thing to have ever happened to American politics-----that she was on a par or worse than Joe McCarthy. REALLY??????? WTF????

Making such an assumption has sexism written all over it--------the sexism of the left of which this blog has been complaining about since its inception. Oh yes, there is sexism from the right. It's just that the left is blind to its sexism and holds itself morally superior for its non-sexist take on things. What a joke.

For Michele Bachmann to have been the worst thing to have ever happened to this country, she would have had to have held considerably more power than that which she has held. She is one of 435 other representatives and holds about as much power as most of them, give or take a shred of nanopower here or there. The only way that this comment could be made by Avlon (and others) is their perception and panic at the idea that a woman with whom they disagree gets a platform. We have so many-----SO MANY----men who hold the same profile as Bachmann, but few of them get the kind of insidious, gut-wrenching fear reaction that Bachmann got. She combined the ugly stereotypes of uppity woman and ditz to such a degree that it drove people crazy----on the left especially. I repeat, the men who did the same thing? What did they get?  Reactions ranging from adulation (Ron Paul) to ho hum (many male reps of both parties working anonymously) to redemption (Anthony Weiner).

Worse, Avlon gets to feel like a big man for putting Bachmann down in such a fashion. Read the comments to his piece and you will see the sexist dog-whistling and chest beating going on beginning with "ding-dong the witch is dead" (honestly----can't those dolts think up anything more predictable for a sexist reaction) and going downhill from there. Avlon also gets to dog-whistle to the lefty tribe about how THIS is how we treat uppity women we don't agree with. I might add, that although this blog doesn't really take on racist issues much, the same holds true for African-Americans whose opinions the leftists don't agree with.

Last I looked, we are all entitled to our own opinions according to the First Amendment, so Avlon and his ilk have my blessing to continue to make themselves look like hypocritical jackasses as often as they want. I just become apoplectic when they take the moral high ground on sexism. The right hand apparently doesn't know what the left hand is doing.

And should anyone from the left go after me, I would like to remind them that I am an INDEPENDENT. I'm not shilling for either party. As far as I'm concerned, both parties fail the sexism test. But I am sad to see Michelle Bachmann go. Her attitude, spunk, and bravery encouraged me many times to go further in many directions in my life that I was holding back on. And she broke more than one glass ceiling in her soon-to-be eight year tenure. So bye bye Michelle Bachmann----wishing you all the best!!!!

Nancy Pelosi Praying For Hillary Clinton To Run?

Cynthia Ruccia



So Nancy Pelosi is praying for Hillary to run for president? Please excuse me while I remove myself to go and upchuck my breakfast!!!

I know I haven't written for awhile. I just haven't had much to say that would add anything new to this conversation of the past 5 years. I've even considered closing down my blog activities. However, I know that that is just empty talk because the future most certainly holds fodder for me and you!!

I am soooooo very sorry that I feel miserable about the first female ever to be Speaker of the U.S.
House. In the beginning I was really proud of her and excited what her new position meant for women. However, when the events of the 2008 Democratic Presidential primary elections erupted, everything changed in that regard for many of us.

You see, Pelosi not only didn't support Hillary, another woman who could have been at the top for the first time, she actively undermined her candidacy. I know, I know-----the facts show that Pelosi remained "neutral" in the primary. That alone, for a woman who supposedly prides herself on doing all she can to promote women, was a weak and imo cowardly move. She should have been front and center for Hillary, protocol be damned. But then when she was in a position to put her finger on the scale, she tilted it toward Barack Obama, ending forever any pretense that she was nothing more than an opportunistic politician.

To me she is emblematic of a certain kind of Democrat, one who is sweeping the sexism of 2008 under the rug. She also is sweeping the slimy, shady practices under the rug of how the DNC disgraced itself (she was a superdelegate in a powerful position to speak up) in choosing the winner of that particular primary. The DNC did all of the things that it bitterly criticized the U.S. Supreme Court of doing in Bush V Gore. But I digress.

These types of Democrats never could completely rid their consciences of their hypocrisy in standing behind their party while it committed these heinous acts. They could never quite rid themselves of their nagging guilt that maybe those of us who protested against these practices had a very legitimate case and maybe were right and they were wrong. So what are they doing now? :Praying to God that Hillary will run for president!!!! Puhleeze------too little too late.

I know that many who read my blog are disgusted with Hillary and wouldn't support her in another run for president. And honestly, those who feel that way make my point. Maybe, even though she's supposedly at the top of the polls, maybe just maybe Hillary's moment has passed. It was soooooo thoughtless, shortsighted, and stupid to assume in 2008 that "we will elect Obama this time and Hillary next time." If I had $5 for every time someone mouthed that twisted line of reasoning to me in the form of a platitude in 2008 I'd be a bazillionaire. What garbage!!!! The reality is that who can ever assume what the future will hold? No one used that reasoning about Obama. All I ever heard is that the reason he ran is that his moment had arrived and he needed to take advantage of it. But the very same people who bought into this piece of rhetoric completely abandoned this logic when it came to Hillary.

A new poll came out this past week showing that at last Americans are ready to elect a woman president. We shall see. It is just as plausible that Hillary won't run as if she will. The female bench, contrary to popular opinion, is weak on the Democratic side. It is actually better on the Republican side. We'll see if those same people who are ready to elect a woman really mean what they say. I believe that there were alot of guilty consciences who responded to that poll. We'll see how far a guilty conscience will get you.......

Get Ready For The Sexism Fest

Cynthia Ruccia



Well like the title says, gird yourself and get ready for the sexism fest to pick up where it left off if Hillary Clinton decides to run for president again. I am under no illusions that anything has changed. If anything, our culture has become so crude that no boundary to sexism expressed exists anymore. If 2008 proved anything, it was that there is no shame in expressing sexism ------no shame in any way. And an HRC candidacy in 2016 will only illustrate that point once again. If anything, I expect that the sexism will be even WORSE this time around.

I don't mean to repeat all that Anita Finlay wrote yesterday in this splendid piece on the very same subject. She certainly wrote it better than  I could, but it bears repeating that we must prepare ourselves for the worst. In 2008 when the vile sexism started to run amok, we were frozen in place in disbelief. It seemed impossible that in our modern times in 2007--2008 that the expression of sexism would go unchallenged. But for all practical purposes, unchallenged it was. Worse, there are plenty of self described "feminist pro women supporters" who still have their heads in the sand that it ever happened at all.

I want to see a woman president more than just about anything as far as women's advancement goes. It is at the very top of my feminism wish list. I ascribe, as I have often said, to former President of Chile Michelle Bachelet's sentiment that nothing did more for the women of her country than having a woman president----no law, no demonstration, no protest, nothing. (As a side note---it's looking like Bachelet, who stepped down from the presidency in 2010, is going to make another go of it!!).

At any rate, I tend to agree with Bachelet. A woman president would shatter a bunch of myths, belief systems, and cultural conditioning about women. It won't by any measure shatter all of it, but it would be a landmark event for all women regardless of political persuasion. That old saw that if you keep doing the same thing over and over you will keep getting what you've been getting over and over is true. And we may be finally ready to have that conversation started about what we need to do to break the logjam women are in,  illustrated even these last few weeks by the profusion of articles and discussion about why women's progess is frozen. At least people are waking up to the fact that women run little in this country. The head-in-the-sand thing has been one of the least attractive traits of the "pro-woman" crowd of late. I for one am happy to see that this conversation may have some staying power wherever it leads us.

I really hope Hillary Clinton runs and I will feel highly dramatically let down if she doesn't. Her whole life has been leading up to this moment of her being president. Why would she walk away from it NOW when all the winds are finally at her back? I do believe that once she regains herself after her pause to rest and reflect, she will come to the same conclusion, age be damned. It would be hard to resist it in the position she is in, a national icon of sorts, the most qualified women ever. It will be said that the inevitability factor existed last time around, but it is of an entirely different magnitude this time.

For the four million of us who left the Democratic Party as a result of the sexism in 2008, this will NOT be a repeat kind of sexism because the sexism will be ramped up in quarters where we've been hanging out. Get ready for the vicious sexism to come from the Republicans if HRC is the nominee. It will be really bad. The place where we anchored for a bit will become repugnant. Worse, we will FINALLY see the Democrats stand up against it, and for those of us in the 4 million, that too will be repugnant. Where the hell were they in 2008?

We will be in the unenviable position of looking not so enthusiastic because of the disorientation that the above events will inevitably produce within us. I can see it now as clear as day, being told over and over again "but I thought that this is what you wanted---if not, what was your protest all about?" as a reaction to my appearing lukewarm to an HRC candidacy.

Let me say this again, I want a woman president RIGHT NOW. Let it be Hillary. I understand that she has been tainted in the eyes of many by her association with Obama. That affiliation includes people's upset about the Benghazi debacle. I feel upset about those things too. I pulled out all of the stops and went all out eventually to work for HRC in 2008. I'm not sure I can see myself doing that again at this point. My principle hangup is that I will have to work side by side with the same people who heralded the age of Obama and swept the sexism under the rug. My second hang up is that I will have to side with people who still think that Obama is a god, and I don't have the tolerance to deal with that approach. It just infuriates me.

But once the sexism spew begins in earnest, I'm sure that that will bug me even more, and I will once again be called to do my part to fight it. But this time around, I'll be less Pollyanna-ish about it. It's coming, and it will be awful. And I guess I'm going to just have to steel myself.........

A Healthy Conversation

Cynthia Ruccia



It has been refreshing reading, hearing, and listening to the conversations sprouting up all over the place around the topic of why women aren't making it to the top. Although some of the explosion in the topic is due to Sheryl Sandberg's book Lean In, it is also the result of people like us trumpeting this problem all of the time all over the place over the course of the past 5 years. It could be said that this conversation----the one we FINALLY seem to be having at long last hallelujah------is the direct result of the 2008 presidential election and the sexism circus surrounding Hillary Clinton and Sarah Palin. It was so painfully obvious in that election season that women still faced daunting obstacles reaching the pinnacle of power in proportion to our numbers. It was so painful, that conversation, that major forces worked hard to sweep it under the rug as if it never happened. Many thanks to the wonderful women who catalogued the offenses in film (there are two excellent films from that time in the right column on this blog), on paper (read Anita Finlay's book also referenced on the right), and on many blogs including this one. Read through Women Win Too's archives-----you will find alot of discussion and documentation of why women aren't making it to the top.

One of the most refreshing parts of the current conversation is that it has transcended politics. Woo hoo!! FINALLY women and men are having this conversation without partisanship mucking everything up. The topic of why women aren't ascending to the top, as we have been stating for years, is a subject that cuts through party lines. Women of both parties are failing to make it to the top, and it has little to nothing to do with abortion and other such bogus themes. The common idea in just about everything I've read is that the real reasons we are failing to rise are tantamount to the REAL war on women------unfriendly workplaces, inability of women to toot their own horns, the list really goes on and on.

So this conversation is enjoined by women of all political persuasions and how wonderful to be having such a conversation!!!! How will we ever solve this problem if we don't join hands those of us who feel that women rising to the top in proportion to our numbers is important?

One sad piece of this conversation is the blowback from women who seem to be so consumed by envy that they can't appreciate the advice from those who HAVE arrived. The tomatoes thrown by those who say that the advice of a Sheryl Sandberg has little relevance to women who will never make it to the top is really shortsighted imo. It is hard to watch the bitchy whining about how she has money and can pay for everything the rest of us can't. Well really people------why shouldn't a woman at the top be paid like the men at the top? It would be wrong any other way. Fact is, when there are more women at the top, especially in numbers proportional to our actual numbers, life could get easier for ALL women in the workplace in substantive ways, a topic for a blog post all its own. We've got to cheer those women on who break through and make it to the top----bravo to them!!!! They won't all be great people who do great things, but it certainly will be better than an all male workplace----better for the men too. I say BRING THE WOMEN ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I read a piece today about why women's gains in academia haven't translated into gains in the workplace by Garance Franke-Ruta. I'm not an academic---I'm a businesswoman. I don't so research, and it was really nice to read this piece from someone who has done that particular legwork. I remember being interviewed by this writer in 2008 or so when she worked at the Washington Post. She called me half an hour before her deadline, and the interview was memorable for the fact that she sounded weary, rude, and completely uninterested in the topic of sexism in the election and its consequences. I just assumed she was having a bad day and was writing about our protest against the sexism because  everyone else was. I certainly was unable to pique any interest whatsoever in the topic at hand, and in those days, my phone was ringing off the hook with interview requests. So I was shocked to see such an excellent and in-depth piece about why women aren't making it to the top in spite of their dominance in universities. It's a thought provoking read.....

We need for all of these women who are inclined to speak up to do just that. Every one of them is contributing to fleshing out the full picture as to why women have so completely stalled out. I'll continue to write and talk about all of it because that is my particular contribution. I am like that dog who grabs on to your pant leg and won't let go. I am loud, and if it is something I believe in, I won't stop until either the solution is found or I am six feet under. I've been fighting this thing for over 40 years, and we've made some progress. But there is much more to be done until the dream is realized, that dream of women leading with their own particular brand of leadership. Sure there are women whose style isn't likeable. But that doesn't mean women shouldn't be rising. If anything it is proof that MORE women should be rising.

At any rate, it is just really really gratifying to watch this conversation take place. Let's keep it going.....

The Hoopla Around Sheryl Sandberg's Book

Cynthia Ruccia



Ok----I haven't even READ the book. I meant to read it. I intended to download it into my kindle and stay up all night Monday to read it. And then I meant to write about it on Tuesday. Clearly none of that happened as I got too busy with other things.

However that hasn't stopped me from being inundated with comments about the book and reading much of what has been written about it both online and beyond. Sad to say, once more a woman has stuck her neck out and is paying the price for it. Now I don't mean to sound whiny about this. As Harry Truman famously said, if you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen. And he is correct.

But beyond the normal criticism of anything there remains about the criticism of Sandberg and her book more of the "Women Are Their Own Worst Enemy" syndrome mentioned in my last piece. I believe she is receiving the same blowback that Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, and other women often receive who deign to stick their necks out, raise the standards, and simply get too uppity for people to deal with.

I work with all women and have for the past 30 years. I am the boss, not in the classical sense, but enough so that I can claim it. At any given time, my organization has had 150 women in it more or less. I have had experience working with women. And even though I haven't read Lean In, much of what I have read about the claims Sandberg makes about why women aren't rising to the top I agree with. The bottom line on that issue is that we are having to invent this new role for women, that of the boss and hopefully in large numbers, and we haven't figured it out yet.

Sandberg apparently puts out there that women don't always have the real expectation of success and therefore don't always know to do the right things to get there. We've lived in a world where the underlying theme is that men are hard wired to lead and women aren't. That fact alone is fact, not a whine about the patriarchy. And as such, if you are imbued with the worldwide cultural meme that women aren't cut out to lead, how in the world will we ever grow the idea after thousands of years of being taught otherwise? THAT is the dilemma women face and having worked with women for many years to encourage them to spread their wings, fly, and become all they are capable of being, I know a thing or two about the cultural conditioning and obstacles women face in getting there.

I was commenting to a friend this morning that the way women tear each other down is different from the way men do it. The men go after each other to establish who is going to be the top dog. In doing so, it becomes a tactical game so that at least the loser can admire the strategy that the winner used.

For women it is something else entirely. I repeat----there will always be criticism when one puts themselves out there-----always. It goes with the turf. Women are faced with a many edged sword. They can choose to play the man's game. Many times the women are oblivious to the man's game and they automatically lose by not playing. But add to that the crazy way women can't handle someone who raises the bar, and it becomes well nigh impossible for hardly anyone to thread that needle.

For women, we are often overcome with jealousy when someone else gets the golden ring. The behavior that this brings out is unique to each person, but we can't deny it exists. I have often believed that the knee jerk, visceral reactions from women are a result of having to share a very small pie and by being disempowered. The ways to deal with this state of affairs are passed down from generation to generation, and these coping strategies are the strategies of the powerless. It is hard to cheer someone on and honor their achievements when there is only one achievement to be had and she has it and you never will and it all seems so unfair. So we become our own worst enemy.

I have watched amazing women go down when they stick their neck out. The list starts with Hillary Clinton, continues on with Sarah Palin, Carly Fiorina, and you can add on your own favorites to this list. The blowback is now happening to Sheryl Sandberg. I honestly have enjoyed reading many of the criticisms of her book. And while some of it is perfectly legitimate, a good portion of it is mean and catty, the lamentations of the powerless. We are NOT so powerless ladies, not at all. We must find a way to encourage each other. "Praise people to success" as my mentor Mary Kay Ash put it. We've got so many obstacles facing us, why add on more? Can't wait to read Lean In!!!!!!!

Women Are Our Own Worst Enemy

Cynthia Ruccia



I've had it-----really had it. What is the problem that women can't support women-----at all???? I get that we can't support every single women. I have conceded the point that there are just some women that we can't get behind. But seriously----where does one draw the line? Do we support no women on principle? HUH???????

I have awakened this morning to the news that the California chapter of NOW is not endorsing the woman in the L.A. mayoral race. Read about it here. There is a perfectly wonderful woman, two in fact, who are running for mayor. The organization's statement said that the man had a better track record supporting women. This group also supported Obama over Hillary Clinton in 2008.

I've been also reading this week about Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer's decision to end working at home in her company and also about Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's new book Lean In about things we need to do to get more women to the top. Read more about Mayer here, here, and here, and Sandberg here and here.

I'm linking all of these things together because a trend emerges bright as day, a trend that has always been there. This trend is when women sharpen their knives to take down anyone who raises the bar and tries to get ahead. I have written several times about how we women often sabotage our own efforts to get to the top, and this week we have now seen this whole syndrome illustrated in neon. We need to do some deep soul searching and quickly to stop ourselves from this act of self immolation.

I'm no psychologist, pop or otherwise. I've read theories as to why women are often our own worst enemies. Google "Why women are their own worst enemy" and you get 5.3+ million entries, many of them right on the mark identifying the problem better than I can. I am however, a results oriented person and I am very persistent and stubborn working toward goals I pursue. And I can tell you that this trait in women is seriously hurting us.

If one is really interested in breaking glass ceilings and getting women into power for real, there is simply no justification for not making a supreme effort to support as many women as possible. This knee jerk reaction to take women down, whatever its cause, is simply doing us in for two main reasons.

First of all, when the people in charge who make top management decisions, mostly men, see that we women can't agree on anything, it gives them less reason to pick women to lead. If also provides the perfect cover for NOT picking women CEO's.

But the second reason that ends up kicking us to the curb every single time is that the media LOVE a good cat fight. I am reminded in every media training I ever had being warned constantly about the fact that "the media is not your friend." It is soooooo true when it comes to women. As long as we women have the long knives out to punish any women who tries to get to the top, the media will caricature us forever. We play right into their own ugly, not so subliminal meme that women can't get their act together and so the glass ceilings shouldn't be broken until we do. And I might that the media doesn't have such a hot record for promoting its women either.

Well in that regard the meme is right!!!!We women don't have our act together-----not by a long shot. But I am of the opinion that we women can do better than we are doing and we can overcome some of our own deeply rooted hesitancy and even hostility towards supporting women who aspire to the top. We need to stop being jealous and resentful. Sure we can't support every woman, but we don't need to take down EVERY woman just because of our own insecurities. How in the world will women ever rise without some solidarity from our own ranks? This week showed me more clearly than ever that women haven't advanced in great numbers to the top because in the face of all other obstacles, and they too are considerable, we fail to do any of the work to help ourselves. Once we decide to empower ourselves to help one another, well, maybe things will stop being so frustrating and we will hear that wonderful sound of shattering glass----in spades.

What I Have Grown To Believe (Or Maybe Have Always Believed)

Cynthia Ruccia



(H/T myiq2xu at The Crawdad Hole for the photo)

This piece has been banging around in my head for awhile. I've not written much lately because frankly, everything has seemed stale. It might just be post election letdown or something. But it seems more like stasis-----nothing changing, the same old same old volleys back and forth with nothing of importance to me being addressed.

I read this piece yesterday in The New York Times about the fact that gender equality has stalled, and I wasn't sure what to expect. Was it going to be a rehash of the ubiquitous "war on women?" (more on that "war" later)? Or maybe someone with a bigger megaphone than I was actually going to address the real fact that women have stalled, are holding little power anywhere, and what we can do about it. The piece was given top billing in the opinion section, so I thought that we might be off to a good start on this topic. It was well written with lots of examples, anecdotal, historical, and research results, of how women have stalled. Ultimately, Stephanie Coontz, the author, came to the conclusion that the stalling out was because our workplace is so unfriendly to women and families. Point well taken and so true. She also hinted that what will change it wasn't going to be government intervention but a groundswell of support toward better conditions. I also agree. But I was quite disappointed that there was no mention of the fact that women still run maybe 3.6% of companies, and until there are more women at the top, these issues stand little chance of being resolved. Why? Because only people who have the actual power to change things can make these changes. Perhaps there is a little of the chicken and egg effect here as well. But it was refreshing to see that at least the author didn't drone on and on about getting some kind of bill passed to remedy things. That solution is DOA.

So back to my premise, what is it I've grown to believe politically? I've had almost 5 years now where my relationship with a political party has been severed, and I've had all of this time to deprogram myself and really observe what the two parties are up to. Unlike some, I actually read daily both the left and the right wing press. I watch both of their stations and listen to both on the radio and internet, although sometimes it is hard to do. I think that people who don't pay attention to both sides risk having their minds taken over by storylines, memes, and such and can easily slide into becoming automatons of one side so that they won't have to think for themselves. It is a lazy way to be IMHO. And it is dangerous IMHO. We humans are wont to fall into that pattern and historically it never comes to a good end.

So first of all, I REFUSE to demonize either side because of what they are. I strive to accept that we are all Americans who love our country and want a great America. Yes I am a bit of a Pollyanna, but I have grown over the 60 years of my life so far to realize that most people are good. Yes there are the glaring exceptions, and they are out there daily, but they are definitely in the minority. I believe that we should strive to treat people like the best of people and not the worst of people.

Secondly, when it comes to all things fiscal, I am right of center. I have always been a fiscal right of center person. Heck---I even voted for Ross Perot when he ran. I don't believe in heavy deficit spending over a long period of time. Both parties are guilty as charged on this one. One talks the talk but doesn't walk the walk. The other party, IMHO is swimming in dangerous waters right now denying that our fiscal house is in perilous shape. Professionally, I am a businesswoman who has run her own business most of my life. My first businesses I had I started in 10th grade, and although there have been a few instances of my working for someone else (I sold advertising for our local newspaper between my senior year of high school and freshman year of college), I always ran a business of my own on the side at those times. I know what it is to be the boss, meet a payroll, and create work for myself and others. IMHO you can spin theories about numbers any way you want but it doesn't change the immutable facts of profits, losses, and making money and making money work for you. One party thinks I'm a doofus for thinking such things and the other party tries to gain my loyalty by saying it is for people like me, but I get the distinct impression that much of that is just boilerplate to win my vote and not necessarily for real.

When it comes to the social issues of the day, I veer to the left of center, but not too far to the left. While I support abortion rights and gay rights, they aren't my major issues. It doesn't mean that I don't support them, it just means I have bigger fish to fry at this time.  When it comes to the environment, I am completely flummoxed!!!!! I am dead center on this one. While like every denizen of this planet I want clean air and water (DUH!!!!), it needs to be accomplished IMHO by working WITH business to achieve these ends, not against business. I get sick and tired of the environmentalists demonizing business all of the time. And while business can be greedy and shortsighted, they are not all that way. The two groups need to work together and not at cross purposes. There is a fine line in this argument, and the tipping point is reached all too soon with the current mindset.

But in the end, neither party is addressing what is important to me. I want to see women take their rightful place at the table running 50% of everything. One party talks the talk but does little, and the other party is seriously screwed up, IMHO when it comes to their women, but not in the way that the other side uses to demonize them. The biggest enemy of women today is the Democratic Party storyline of the "war on women." The second biggest enemy of women today is the failure of the Republican Party to take advantage of the fabulous women on their side who have been successful in a major way.

Let's start with the Democratic "war on women" line. It is an almost complete crock of bull. It is a piece of propoganda that is being used on women WITH THEIR OWN COMPLIANCE to keep them successfully corralled in the Democratic camp. I have written about this time and time again. Feel free to go into this blog's archives if you haven't read any of these pieces. This "war on women" is being used to keep women compliant without anything to show for it. It is being used as a tool to keep people feeling that they are on the "cool" side. It is dangerous because that party is doing NOTHING to help women achieve their place at the table. The Democrats have a sorry recent history of using sexism to win and they have gotten away with it because of the ridiculous scare tactics they have used to keep women on the reservation and not thinking for themselves. It is disgusting.

The Republican problem is no less exasperating. I can't for the life of me figure out why the R's aren't using some of their most potent weapons, their fabulous women, to counter the "war on women" theme. NO ONE speaks more eloquently about why the Republican Party is good for women than the Republican Conference Chair Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers, the highest ranking Republican woman in the U.S. House. No one touches people's hearts with this message more than Mayor Mia Love and New Mexico Governor Susana Martinez and South Carolina Governor Nikki Haley. Of the two people at the top of a recent poll of who we want to see as our future president, one of them is Secretary of State Condi Rice. Where is she? We hardly hear enough from her as well. All we are seeing from the Republicans at the moment is trying to fix things with Hispanics by putting Senator Marco Rubio front and center. Now don't get me wrong---I really like Rubio. He always inspires me. I even bought a Rubio water bottle recently!! hahahahahahahaha. HOWEVER, where are the women? The Republicans lost the women vote and they IMHO should have done much better and could have done so had they done a better job of highlighting their women. But they aren't doing it. My friend tells me that it is because they are still in shock over the beating they took over Sarah Palin. If that is the case, shame on them. They've had men lose too, but that doesn't stop them from nominating and highlighting other men. I mean really-----it's just pathetic. If the Republicans refuse to use what great resources they have in the female department, they deserve to lose women's votes.

So the graphic above pretty much sums it up for me. I am very happy to be an observer of the follies on both sides. And I will continue to fight for women getting to the top whenever I can. I will vote for women of either party whenever I can. But I'm not going to be the slave of either party. Nor will I demonize one party at the total expense of the other. Those days are finished for me. I'm happier being a proud Independent and just do the thinking for myself. Order me up one from column A and one from column B.......

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